Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Jet set

My Mum had just boarded the shuttle bus that takes you from Glasgow airport into town. She noticed that the volume level of the conversation between the driver and a guy who had just got on was increasing.

"What ja mean you wullny take a twenny pound note, what sort of fucking bus is this anyway?"
"It's the sort of fucking bus that goes te Buchanan Street Station"
"See youz, youz are a fucking arse..."
"Do you wann me to call security, 'sthat what you wann"?

There was a pause and the man with the twenty climbed off the bus. A couple more moments passed and a voice at the back announced just loudly enough for the rest of the bus to hear.

"Ah it's good te be home right enough"

Monday, November 27, 2006

Casino Royale ****

On Saturday I celebrated the fact that I was still breathing on my 44th (consecutive) November 23rd. I started by going to the fantastic place that is the Odeon Leicester Square to give the new bond film a whirl. In the last scene of the film Mr Craig's character shoots someone in the leg before introducing himself in the customary "Bond, James Bond" way. I thought to myself, yes you are, you may have ginger hair, alright fair hair, but based on the last two hours I reckon you have earned the right to the name. I found that I was bothered about what was happening which is a good thing (as a friend of mine would say). Everyone has been raving about the grittiness and edginess and I would boringly have to concur with them, I did feel pain. I would say that if I were to be planning to enter Blofeld's lair then, given the choice, I would be taking this bond with me, on the basis that as he quite tasty, I wouldn't have to rely so much on rediculous luck to survive (also, I reckon I'd be in with more of a chance when it came to dishing out the totty).

The thing about that particular Odeon is that you can sometimes enjoy an amazing atmosphere. In the 1987 or there abouts I went there with a few people to see Aliens. If you have seen said movie, you might remember Sigourney Weaver emerging from behind a warehouse door strapped into a kind of forklift truck with legs and announcing to the alien in question; "get away from her you bitch". That prompted the biggest cheer I've ever heard in a cinema. Casino Royale didn't quite achieve that, but I reckon being at that cinema improved the experience.

On to Kettners to join some more pals for a bottle of vintage Louis Roederer and then to Imli, a kind of Indian Tapas bar. We were served by Monica from Madrid who looks like she might be Fernando Alonso's big sister. The food was unusual but very palatable and included comedy breast-shaped ice cream. Then to La Casa del Habano which is a kind of cigar bar. There was a lady rolling massive stogies in the corner (not on her thighs) so naturally I approached her to pass the time of day. It would appear that her English does not extend as far as "hello". Perhaps I'd better steer clear of Bond baddies' places all together.