In the paper today.....

......there is an article about the funniest jokes in the world. One I had heard before was the one where someone rings 999 and says that he thinks that his friend might be dead, what should he do? "First let's make sure he really is dead" says the operator. There is a pause and then the sound of a gun shot. "He's definitely dead, now what"? That one was attributed to Spike Milligan.

The other joke made me laugh out loud in La Fourchette and the waiter gave me a disapproving look. A woman gets on the bus with her baby. As she is paying, the driver mentions that he thinks that she has the ugliest baby he's ever seen. Fuming, the woman sits down and announces to the person in the next seat that the driver has just insulted her. "That's terrible", says the other passenger "I'll hold your monkey whilst you go and give him a piece of your mind". Those were voted best in the world and best in Britain respectively. There was a best in England one but no best in Scotland one quoted; the England one didn't really do it for me.

I also noticed over the weekend that some advert or other suggested that if you called them to place an order "you could do it all over the phone". In my experience, once those buttons start to jam, no amount of fiddling with them will allow you to dial from that particular aparatus in confidence ever again.